i never try to love you, but i always do love you

im sorry for. i may not be the best for you. i may not be the one who makes you happy all the time. i may not be there for you. i may not be the old version of me. i may not be your special person anymore :(

i may be the one who makes you cry. i may be the one who makes your tears dropped. i may be the one who changed a lot. i may be the one who makes you feel lonely. i may be considered by you as a b*tch, a not so loyal person, and an uncaring person :(

but, please unblame me. please unbreak my heart. please smile at me. please talk to me. and the important thing is, please forgive me baby :(

you should know that, i always seek for your forgiveness. i always wish for your happy ending. i always hope that you'll always get the best. i always want you to be happy with your loved and new one. i always care about you and i always try to give you my attention.
 
i never put you on any blame. i never want you to cry. i never want you to be lonely.

I never try to love you, cause I always do love you

happy birthday to you FIZA. sweet20 :D

its april 24th and its my birthday !

aaaaaaa cant believe that i am 20 now. so tuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa doww. :O

thanks a bunch everyone for wishing for my birthday. especially mama, elmo and kikie for your surprise.
terkejut kayong tadi tgh tgh layan lappy tbe tbe lampu tertutup.
HAHA tp before tuu kayong dah dgr kikie nyanyi lagu birthday duluu. so mama and el dah kantoi dah.
and the others. Firdaus Zainal, my amore, maryam, teeqa, fanaa, niena, sue, alya, adek am, kyla, wan, raysha rizrose, aunty linda, ekal, epul, nana, yaya, ex dorm-mate, ex school-mate, college-mate, friends from FB and otherssss.
so sorry tak mention cause terlampau banyak sgt hehe.

thanks again,

love u guys

:)

later on i will uploas the picture. need to sleep now. nak jumpa b pukul 6 am :) lovee ou guys so muchh !

my birthday cake. HAHA written then FIZA. not SYAZA =P

Happy birthdayyyyy girls !

today birthday,

RIANA ZOL AZLAN

she is my cousin's gf. happy birthday hana. going to 20 :) just like me. be a good girl. be a good gf to my cousin okayh ? take a very good care of him. and jangan panggil i kakyong dah. coz you la kakak i. and you lagi tua dari i :) eheeee. may what you want, will come true babe.

tomorrow birthday,

SYAZA YAACOB

one of my best friends who know me very well. ahah, tipu je. SYAZA YAACOB tuu aku laa kann. going to 20 tomorrow. hopefully i will change my attitude from being childish to matured. yeahh i always act like a kids. maybe because mama always pampered me :)

day after tomorrow,

SARAH ZAFIRAH IBRAHIM

one of my bestfriends. lama tak jumpa dia. i rasa since dia bz nak spm. dia adek BFF i, sarah amirah. b, i miss you. hopefully, you will always remember me. kita dah tak close kann. i rasa lama sgt i tak jumpa you. sweet18 baby. love you so muchh !

okayh thats all. anyway, to my twins,

KELLY CLARKSON

i will always adore you. Happy birthday okayh. we were born on the same day ! love you KC ! 

tapayah nak jadik hipokrit dah lepas ni boleh tak ? dah naek muak laaa tgk !

3 days more

Sir Ali, next time kalau nak cancel class please inform us awal awal boleh tak ? ini dah dua minggu sir cancel last minute. kesian student student awak neyhhh.

tapi naseb baek pagi tadi saya tak bangun tido ! ahaaa, kalau saya bangun memang frust laa dekat kolej sorg sorg tgu class pukul 2 plak kannn.

ANYWAY PEEPS !
my birthday is just around the corner. wohoo ! cant wait for it. last year keluar dating dgn F and kwn kwn. and i get heart necklace from him. this year, im wondering what i will get for my birthday.

my birthday cake. 20 wannabe

go kart dating. whoot whoot !

new high heels. im crazy with this thing !

genting highland. gonna be crazy there

jumpsuit. i want to keep it in my wardrobe.

polaroid ! new camera pleaseeeeee,

20 wannabe. wohoo ! but im still acting like a kid. HAHA. sorry. this is the real me.

btw to baby boo : love is like a shadow, when you chase it, it runs away. when you turn back and 

walk away, it follows you

True friends are the ones who are true to you and make you become true to yourself

love,

all too often, we take our loves one for granted.

when someone loves us unconditionally, it is easy to be careless with that love

because we assume that it will always be there.

we forget to say thank you and be polite or even do something nice in return

we need to be more aware of this and do what we think is right n respectful.

showing and expressing our love and appreciation

especially to the person loves us most, before its too late ♥

F E R D S Y A Z A

te amo, te queiro SAYANGGGGG ! muah muah, xoxo

get hot under the collar

i hate you ! tolong laa berambus dari life kami berdua boleh tak ? suka sgt menyemakkk. before this, aku dgn dia dah pernah bergadoh lagi besar dari ini, tapi still okayh. tp yg baru neyh bila kau semak je, tgk laa ape jadik. lagi worst ! this is my matter. it is not yours okayh ! i know how to handle my own business. please mind your own business. go away.

btw, i will hate you forever. remember that.

hurts

kecewa sgt. okayh saya memang mcmni okayh. saya memang kalau ada something tuu saya nak jugak bende tuu. teringat lagi satu kesah tuu. time tuu arwah hidup lagi. awak tahu tak, on my birthday, arwah boleh buat bodoh. saya call byk kali dia tak angkat satu ape pownnn. and dia buat mcm nothing happens. saya sampai break dgn dia harituu. sebab dia tak bg ape yg saya nak. tp seminggu lepas tuu. arwah buat belated birthday saya. EVEN TIME TUU DIA LANGSUNG TADE DUET. tapi dia pinjam duet mak sebab nak bwk saya keluar pergi OU then beli cake saya.

awak boleh ke jadik mcm arwah ? memang saya demand tgi. tp awak tak mampu ke buat sekali seumur hidop saya ? awak tahu tak berapa byk kali saya pergi tandas tadi menanges. SUMPAH KECEWA DGN APE YG AWAK CAKAP. and tbe tbe saya terengat Arwah. sebab memang mirul lagi bagus dari awak. sebab tuu dulu saya sayang dia. sampai hari hari saya menanges pasal dia. dia sanggup buat ape je untuk saya. apa dia buat dekat saya, sama mcm awak buat dekat saya. tp dia ada kelebihan dia sendiri :(

saya tak tahu nak ckp cmne. saya rasa kecewa and kecik hati sgt dgn awak.awak takan faham hati saya. mungkin ini kali terakhir hari jadi saya. aWak mana tahu. saya mintak neyh sekali dlm hidup. lepas neyh saya tak mintak dah. saya tak pernah dpt mcm ape yg saya mintak dekat awak before this. awak tgk la last year birthday saya. kita kuar. tp last last saya pakai duet saya jugak kan ? saya cuma teringin rasa awak. teringin rasa someone betol betol buat saya happy on that day, that guy sanggup sacrifice untuk i and family i. awak tahukan, saya sayangkan family saya terlalu. saya nak kalau saya happy, diorang pown ada dgn saya. tp takpelaaa. awak tak sanggup kan ? saya pown dah malas nak engat pasal neyh. better tapayah celebrate langsung. saya tanak celebrate tanpa org yg lahirkan saya and besarkan saya selama ini. yg sanggop bersusaa payah jaga saya dari kecik sampai besar tanpa ada bantuan laen TERUTAMA SEKALI ABAH saya. tp awak. dengan perempuan yg satu-satunya saya panggil MAMA pown awak tak boleh nak bwk. jgn harap saya nak pergi.

btw ahad neyh, genap Arwah Atok pergi 5 tahun. Al-Fatihah.

Atok, kayong rinduu atok :( rindu kene marah dengan atok. rinduu tgk atok tersenyum gembira bila dpt tahu result upsr kayong bagus. rinduu tgk atok sorok sorok hisap rokok. rinduu kali terakhir atok cakap dgn kayong ;( skg semua dah tak mcm duluu. org yg atok suruh tolong jaga and tgk tgk kan kayong dah berubah. atok, nnt kita jumpa ye ? kayong doakan .

i almost kill my own cats !

scary ! takot semua ada. takot kalau kucing tu mati. or maybe buta. know why ? coz tadi i spray kucing tuu pakai spray apetahhh. tp mama ckp spray racun.

mula mula i nak tangkap kucing i. nak kurung mereka dlm cage. but ibu dia bising bising. ibu dia is Virgo. lagi i nak tangkap lagi dia nak lri menyorok. bengang punya pasal, i nampak ada spray dekat tempat i tuu. so i amek and start spray. teros, kucing i ebrlari masok rumah. i dah pelik and bertambah pelik bila nampak arang dekat situu kuar asap. then i check la ape dlm botol spray tuu. air dia colour kuning. and i tak leyh bau. coz it make my nose feel like i cant breath. i teros berlari carik Virgo. i saw her. and she cant open up her eyes. i dah takot. i jerit bgtaw mama.

last last mama tangkap Virgo and mandikan dia and cuci mata dia semua. and now, hopefully her eyes already okayh. risau teramat weyh. kalau dia buta, memang salah i laa kan.

huruf pertama nama anda

anyway, i tgh blog walking tibe tibe jumpa satu blog ni tanya pasal huruf pertama nama anda. and i pown saje saje laa buat research pasal i and Ferd :) and this is the result.

Firdaus Zainal

F

Punya pendirian yang teguh, tidak mudah goyah Dan keras kepala. Mereka Juga sukar memaafkan. Tidak setia Dan amat berhati-hati bila berbelanja.

*yg tidak setia tuu tak betol. HAHA. f saya setia okayh. kan b kann ? keras kepala ? yes you are b. 

Syahnafiza Yaacob

S

Pandai Dan tekun dalam mengejar cita-cita. Tidak suka pada orang yang Suka memungkiri janji. Kelemahannya mudah tersinggung selain sukar Menahan emosi. Jika sudah emosi marahnya meledak-ledak.

*ini memang sama dgn my character. tapi bab mengejar cita cita tuu, im not la. coz i dah terpesong jaoh dah. HAHA. 

you guys nak try ? okayh clik this link : http://duraslayer.blogspot.com .

then korang boleh buat research pasal korang sendiri plak. then let me know about it okayh ?

UNEXPECTED !

sayang online for a while. b, only God know how much i miss you :( okayh tu pown gadoh. thank you b. lama tak bergadoh dgn you sebab you jelez. i like the way you jealous baby. SUMPAH ! i suka tgk u marah marah i pasal other guy and all that. tp sumpah jugak, i tak pernah menggatal.

anyway, my art & design assignment. guess what did i get ? HAHA ;D okayh, dgn bangga i announce it. SAYA DAPAT MARKAH PENUH ! happy weyh. of coz la happykan. ingat senang nak buat ? org pro je buat. saya neyh tak pro, but i know i can make it :) its my effort okayh. and Madam Azrin siap cakap photo album i dia nak pakai sebagai contoh untuk student laen. its worth it okayh ! i make it by myself for the whole day and whole night. penat search dekat google. and at last, i dpt markah yg memberansangkan. UNEXPECTED.

anyway, my final project plak... hmm, i dont think so that i can make it :( its a bit tough. bukan tough apekann, sama je mcm photoshop *org kata laa* tapi for me, i tak biasa pakai illustrator. so i rasa JANGGAL gila nak pakai. gosh, somebody, pleasee help me ! :(

saloon

lets make it short and simple , i dont need to go to saloon and waste my hundred of money to get any kind of nice hair . i just love my hair and yes you have to envy me in this because everyone loves my hair instead of your fake hair . my hair is just so nice and i do take care it like veryvery well yeah . btw , no use to have such nice hair if you girls so lazy to shampoo it , get some hair treatment and whtsoever .

heart-warming moment, imy.

SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN. ohh yeahh. we are so cute, we are so sweet isnt ? ohh gosh baby. two days, im crying you know. i miss you badly. i kene nightmare, tp dah tade siapa dah i nak ngadu bila i kene mimpi ngeri. i bangun tidur, dah tade dah message from you. i online, dah tade siapa dah nak jelez jelez dgn i, marah marah i, touching dgn i. and now, i dah tade kwn nak bergadoh dah. i miss you so much sygg ! can you hear it ?

psst : i miss you so much F. 

take care syg.

baby, you are too far from me. currently missing you sygg. do take care okayhh ? no tiger show there -_- i taksuke you tgk bende ngarut. nanti, you free, you online. im here waiting for you sygg. lovee you so muchhh !

2011.04.10

tok abah and pah bidah. okayhh. atok saya yang rockkk !

balek tuu naek ferry. gambar nenek saya :)

i love you nenek. she is rockkkk !

nenek and kikie :D

depan rumah paklong bong.

habes, balek to KL back :)

2011.04.09

dekat rumah tokcik. the old woman tuu onyang saya :D 

Mama, Qurnia, Opah and Aki. dekat rumah aki. before gerak to penang.

Me ? haha serabai. abaikan.

pengantin. Cik Pian and his wife, Cik Mas.

Family here we go :) family from penang.

Me and Kikie :D

Feringhi :) next time nak pergi lagi dgn cousinnnnn :D

Mama and Abah.

ramainya orgg kat sana. but im alone. f tak ikot sekali.
im bored here without you syg,

i nampak happy family there. can i be like you guys ? :(

romantic place. i wish you were here with me baby.

harga game kat sana. murah kann ? nak maen lagi.

Mama, Qurnia, Kikie and me :)

At night market. a lot of things there. and murahhh sgt sgt.

Ending. before i balek.

2011.04.08

at Kampung Pasir Putih. kat rumah Pahcik. yg terbaring tu is my Pahcik.
pity her :( saya menanges tgk keadaan dia.
from left to right : Pahnor, Pahcik and Nenek.
we bring Pahnor together. dia nak ikot ke penang.

tgk keadaan Pahcik :( Ya Allah, kau sembuhkanlah opah ku semula.
anyway, Pahcik neyh adek Nenek. tp nampak tuakan ?
hmm, kesian dia saket.

this is Kikie. anyway, time neyh dah sampai Kulim dah. tp saje g pusing mkn dulu before sampai rumah aki.
kami mkn di KFC. semua gara gara Kikie. dia nak mkn KFC.
last last tak mkn pown -__-

my abg, Afreem Felany. he brought us to Sunway Carnival Mall. time neyh lepak maen game kat sana.
maen game bola. tapi dua kali kalah. HAHA. then we guys maen basketball and tembak tembak.

this is him. HAHA. different weyh. duluu kecik kecik, kami rapat kowt. Mama la ckp. siap
dulu i berebut dgn dia Mama dia. HAHA. not only him i rapat, his mom, Mamanyah, Aki and opah pown i rapat sgt.

and this is me. in front of the mall. captured by Afreem. HAHA. saje nak amek gmbr depan mall yg tak pernah
i pergi tuu.